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31.12.07

Selamat datang tahun baru 2008

Dari kaca TV propaganda aku dengar sifu M. Nasir mengalunkan lagu-lagu kegemaranku.

Ada masanya aku suka berteman
Ada masanya aku bersendirian
Ada masanya aku suka berjalan
Ada masanya aku suka apa yang kau suka...

Ya...Apocalip(betul kah ejaannya?).Ya...hidup dan nasib bersilih ganti. Bak roller coster. Naik dan turun adat yang menjadi kebiasaan. Tahun bersilih ganti. Umur semakin meningkat. Tapi hati masih terasa muda. Ia kekadang tidak mahu menerima hakikat.Rumah berkata pergi dan kubur berbisik mari.
Malam ini aku tertanya-tanya.

Berapa ramai anak-anak gadisku yang bukan lagi gadis pada kesesokan paginya?
Berapa ramai malam ini yang mabuk-mabuk dan berpesta porah?
Berapa ramai si rempit maut dan memayatkan orang lain di jalanraya?
Berapa ramai yang hilang kaki dan tangan...tapi bibirnya tidak mengucap kalimah Allah, tapi asyik meminta rokok.
Berapa ramai gadis-gadis suntiku yang hilang maruah dikerjakan jantan-jantan jalang?
Berapa? Berapa?Berapa?
Saban tahun berganti. Soalan itu jugalah yang ada di mindaku.

SELAMAT TAHUN BARU. Semoga kita benar-benar selamat

TAG...TAG..TAG

my lazy boy KOKO


Now, for the tag...Shah Talk Only

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
Boy- adik angkat saya

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Tengok berita kat tv propaganda

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
I am bloghopping & surfing. Dengan entry tanpa tajuk.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
Tak ingat..Melayu mudah lupa he..he..he..

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Koko”…saya panggil nama kucing baru saya.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Many….bercawan-cawan..bergelas-gelas dan bertin-tin...

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
Well, green(mesra alam)

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Accessory- rantai manik harga RM15…tak sempat nak bergaya dengannya,kucing saya dah kusut-kusutkan hu..hu…hu..

9. Where were you last night?
Atas katil..tidur mati

10. What colour is your front door?
Brown..tak perlu tukar cat sebab bukan rumah sendiri

11. Where do you keep your change?
Tengoklah…berapa jumlahnya he..he..he..

12. What's the weather like today?
Panas…panas..bersama zirafah di zoo

13. What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Saya tak suka aiskerim

14. What excites you?
Okay…I ask you again..what exites you…but don’t give the same answer lor…

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Well, if I do, my hubby will killed me.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Yes…I am 73 years old grandma he..he..he..

17. Do you talk a lot?
Nope. Depend on the topic but I can’t talk a lot.

18. Do you watch the O.C?
O.C???What is that? Is that a movie or TV series?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Cat Steven aka Yusuf Islam

20. Do you make your own words?
Nope…but I still thinking what and how…

21. Are you a jealous person?
I can be.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Awissukorni (my childhood friend)

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Hmm..Kerpie, Kak Nor, Kak Tie bla..bla..bla…

24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
Er......my hubby..nope...ha..ha..ha..

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Sorry made you waiting so long ( geram…tiada maaf bagimu)

26. Do you chew on the straw?
Why I should do that? Give me a reason.

27. Do you have curly hair?
Yes of course…err...tercakap plak...aurat hu...huu..hu ...

28. What's the next place you're going to?
Bed. Nice dream babe..

29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
So many, can I put you here or not? No laaaa.....

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Mee Maggi perisa kari.

31. Will you get married in the future?
I intend to…he..he…hee..when I am 73 and my hubby not here anymore he..he..he...(kalau panjang umur lagi...ada hati rupanya aku...)

32. What was the best movie you've seen in past 2 weeks?
Bukan movie…telemovie sempena Aidiladha kat TV memang menyentuh hati & mengingatkan “mati”.

33. Is there anyone I like right now?
Biarlah rahsia.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Just few minutes ago….mee kari (mee Maggie)he..he..he..

35. Are you currently depressed?
Yup….hee..hee…here..look this entry

36. Did you cry today?
Should I?Nope.....

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Suka-suka….saja-saja & takde kerja

38. Tag 5 people who would do this.
Hmm...who else
a. Kak Ungku Nor
b. Naha
c. Najib
d. Mama R
e. who else aaaa…..(no idea)

Okay.That's my part done. Semoga Shah berpuas hati dan bagi gred A. (susah ni..ngalahkan soalan tugasan) Happy tagging, guys.

30.12.07

Semalam….aku ke GATH...jumpa ramai - Kak Ungku yang peramah dengan kamera canggihnya…jumpa Amyz, Mardihah,Cik Daun,Dugong ,Salina, Mie dan lain-lain yang aku terlupa sebut…..tapi aku tak punya gambar mereka di sini. "Pakwe"tukang ambil gambar yang aku bawa asyik menghilang dengan Sony Erricsonnya. Seronok, akhirnya dapat juga mengenali anda sekelian.

Antara cenderahati yang dibawa pulang – nasi beriani & ayam masak merah. ( Tidak sempat ambil fotonya sebab sudah masuk ke dalam perut anak jiranku)


Paling istimewa – dua buah buku Sinaganaga yang buat aku tertawa ha…ha…ha…ha.



Dua biji mug – macam tau-tau saja pihak penganjur, aku teramatlah suka mengumpul mug.
Ini cerderahati yang kononnya cabutan bertuah. ( Aku kira semua yang hadir memang bertuah. Tiada yang tidak bertuah,melainkan bertuah belaka)

Ha..ha..ha..aku mau sambung membaca buku Sinananaga.

Pagi tadi…
Aku ke OUM – ambil modul untuk semester Januari. Tiga subjek mungkin dengan empat soalan tugasan . Modul pula semakin tebal mukasuratnya. Aduh…aku mula sakit kepala.

Selepas itu pakweku ajak aku melepak kat Zoo Negara. Haa…haa..haa..tidak romantik lansung - Zoo Negara. Aku ulang - ZOO NEGARA dan.inilah hasil kreativiti dari Sony Erricsonnya. (pakai baju semalam he..he.he..panas weh..kesian si leher panjang tu)
Ha…ha..ha..aku mau ulang baca buku Sinaganaga. Tetapi pakweku sergah. “Ha..ha…ha..lagi” katanya. “ Modul bila nak buka?”Eleh..kacau daun betul.
Pakwe aku baik sebenarnya. Kadang-kadang aku rasa dia jelmaan allahyarham ayahanda yang masih aku rindui.


17.12.07

Selagi kita bernama manusia....



Semalam adik-adik saya di puat latihan ini berkonvo. Saya tidak menghadiri majlis tersebut, tapi kata suami iannya berlansung dengan meriah sekali walaupun tidak semeriah konvokesyen di universiti. Dan mereka pulang bersama segulung sijil kemahiran masing-masing samada bidang jahitan, multimedia, IT maupun senilukis dan membatik. Mereka tidak pulang semata-mata bersama sijil; tetapi jua harapan untuk hidup berdikari, berkerja, membina keluarga dan masa depan sendiri.Namun ada juga yang tidak kesampaian hajatnya kerana kealpaan sendiri.

Selagi kita bernama manusia, kita tidak mampu terlepas dari membuat kesilapan. Kesilapan yang berulang kali bukan lagi kesilapan – ia bernama tabiat buruk yang disengajakan. Dosa – kali pertama dilakukan; lebih-lebih lagi tanpa sengaja akan merisaukan perilakunya. Perasaan bersalah dan berdosa akan membuak-buak di dalam kepompong minda Diulang dan diulang akan menjadi keseronokkan. Dan keseronnokan bertukar menjadi ketagihan yang pastinya memudaratkan. Entri saya kali ini mempunyai kaitan dengan mereka yang masih hidup, jadi saya memohon jutaan maaf sekiranya mereka terbaca. Bukan niat saya hendak memalukan sesiapa; sekadar peringatan kepada diri dan juga para pembaca entri ini lebih-lebih lagi kepada rakan OKU yang rata-rata masih hijau usia mereka.

Selagi bernama manusia, OKU atau tidak; kita hanyalah manusia – berkongsi rasa yang sama. Jika orang lain punya rasa ingin dicintai dan mencintai maka manusia yang bergelar OKU juga tidak terlepas dari naluri yang sama. Tidak salah jatuh cinta, asal tahu adab dan budaya. Tiada salahnya berkasih, asal tahu menjaga maruah agama, diri dan keluarga.

Biar saya nama si manis ini A. Dia berasal dari keluarga baik-baik dan terhormat. Dia menjadi kurang upaya kerana terjatuh dan sejak dari itu kerusi rodalah yang menggantikan sepasang kakinya. Pertama kali bertemunya,saya sungguh teruja. Tutur bicaranya lembut,senyumannya manis. Matanya bercahaya, berkulit putih kuning bersantun dan suaranya lunak melagukan Al Qur’an selepas solat. Wajahnya ala-ala Miss Sienep dalam entri saya yang lalu. Ayu bukan?

Oleh kerana kami ditempatkan di tempat sebilik dan satu kelas A dan saya agak akrab. Saya, S, M, B, Y, I, SR dan lain-lain sangat menyayanginya dan kami anggap dia bagai adik beradik sendiri. Saya pelajar paling berumur di pusat tersebut; hingga guru kelas pun memanggil saya “kakak”. Daripada tidak tahu apa-apa tentang computer; hatta di mana suis dan kabel, saya mahir menggunakan ms word, excel, powerpoint berkat tunjuk ajar dari A. Sesungguhnya bertahun-tahun yang lalu saya memang buta IT kerana kedaifan keluarga saya tiada peluang dan ruang untuk belajar.

A memang jelita – maka bak sekuntum ros yang cantik tentu ramai yang ingin mendekati….bukan seperti saya. Saya cuma teratai; jauh terpinggir di dalam sebuah perigi usang di tengah rimba. Tiada yang sudi memandang sekalipun. A begitu istimewa sehingga pegawai –pegawai di pusat ini pun mengkagumi dirinya. Dia petah berbicara dan aktif juga dalam kegiatan co-kurikulum. Pendek cerita semangat dan kebaikan dalam diri A masih subur menghijau dalam diri saya. Saya yang sebelum ini, bukanlah seperti diri saya yang sekarang; pemalu tidak bertempat, pesimistik dan rendah diri yang melampau. Saya sedar keadaan diri dan saya memaksa diri dikaunselingkan kerana saya sedar betapa pentingnya untuk merubah diri kepada sesuatu yang positif.

Berbalik kepada cerita A, pertemuaannya dengan AA merubah segalanya. Dalam usia yang masih muda, A mungkin juga sedilkit keliru makna cinta. Saya juga sampai kini masih samar-samar tentang definasinya. AA kacak, ayahnya orang berada,berkarisma tapi sayangnya dia datang dari keluarga berantakan. Suaranya merdu setiap kali menyanyikan lagu-lagu kegemaran kami - OAG atau Spider. Paling saya suka tentang dirinya - dia lelaki yang penuh "sense of homour". Dari cerita yang saya dengar sebelum menjadi OKU, AA pernah dipenjarakan dan terlibat dalam pelbagai kegiatan tidak bermoral. Saya masih ingat kata-katanya “kak, saya datang ke sini untuk jadi orang baik-baik…nak tebus kesilapan lalu”. Malangnya kata-kata itu kini tinggal kenangan semata. Saya faham kenapa A begitu tertarik dengan AA. Mereka sungguh akrab dan bila kami bertanya mengenai status hubungan mereka – maka beginilah jawapan stereotaip A” Takde kak, A anggap AA macam abang aje”. Macam artis kita,bila ditanya wartawan tentang status keintiman hubungan mereka. Tapi saya bukan bodoh…sudah 35 tahun umur saya waktu itu. Teman-teman lain juga bukan buta; mereka tahu AA bagaimana orangnya. Sejak itu mereka sungguh intim; ada satu insiden saya terpaksa menepis tangan AA kerana cuba merayap ke tubuh A. Berbuih mulut saya dan teman- teman menasihatkan memakai pendekatan psikolgi untuk membuat A bangun dari mimpiya. Malangnya satu pun tidak menjadi, malah kesumbangan perbuatan mereka yang semakin menjadi-jadi. Akhirnya SR(adik angkat saya) mengugut saya; jika saya benar-benar sayangkan dia, jangan lagi rapat dengan A dan AA. Katanya – dia tidak mahu saya dituduh bersubahat dengan kemungkaran mereka. Sejak itu, saya tidak lagi bersama A dan AA. Dan tepat seperti yang saya duga, sehari selepas itu A dan AA ditangkap basah dan dibuang asrama. Saya dan T menangis mendengar beita buruk itu…tapi A selamba sahaja. Seolah-olah dia tidak tahu apa yang berlaku kepadanya. Kami membantunya mengemaskan barang-barang dan dia dihalau keluar dari asrama pada hari itu juga, Kami sungguh kesal – nila yang setitik telah merosakkan sebelanga susu.

Selepas insiden itu, saya mendengar pelbagai versi fitnah mengenai A. Tidak adil sungguh!! Tiada siapapun mengutuk AA. Adakah A sahaja menjadi punca kejadian ini? Adakah kerana A seorang perempuan? Sedarlah – dosa dan neraka tidak kenal lelaki atau perempuan. Segala kebaikan dalam diri A yang dulu begitu dikagumi seakan-akan dilupakan. Malah satu persatu kesalahannya ditelanjangkan.

Kali terakhir saya bertemu A – 6 November 2005 di majlis perkahwinan saya. Dia datang bersama umminya bawakan hadiah. Dia amat gembira melihat saya bertemu jodoh. Berkaca-kaca matanya ketika merenung saya berbaju pengantin. Itulah kali terakhir saya bertemunya dan sampai kini saya masih mengenang kebaikan yang ada padanya.

Kuala ber”Lumpur” ini mengubah nasib, pendirian dan perhitungan manusia – syurga,bahagia dan kecelakaan.

Nota WL untuk semua:
Kita ini cacat fizikal,jadi berusahalah sebaik mungkin agar akhlak kita juga tidak “cacat”.

14.12.07

TRANSKRIP KE 2 (mungkin terakhir)

KERETA YANG TIADA KENA-MENGENA DALAM ENTRI INI TAPI MUNGKIN...... (juga ada kena-mengena)


WL: Bagaimana kan ku mula...(nyanyi lagu sifu) .Ada icon saya sedang tersengih kat hujung.
WL: kertas2 bersuara(saya sedikit kebingungan….ada icon tapi tak “appear” dalam entri saya)
BP: Salam. Keluar masuk bilik, tak perasan ada msg.
WL: selamat menulis di atas kertas yang bersuara itu..atau kamu sedang membaca kertas2 bersuara itu
BP: Kena kawal tulisan ni, takut2 transkrip ni masuk blog pulak.
BP: Tengah isi tender sebenarnya. He he he
BP: tidak sama sekali...(dalam hati…jika menarik memang akan masuk bloglah transkrip ni ekee..ekee..gelak ala Dik Sas)
BP: Saja...
WL: kertas2 bersuara itu menghasilkan wang @ menghabiskan wang
BP: pokoknya bukan kertas itu shaja yang bersuara, pemiliknya juga.
BP: bukan suara biasa, suara2 merintih.
BP: tajam agaknya.
WL: anda pemiliknya..uhh dasat tuhh
BP: bukan. saya cuma meminjam tuah kertas itu. kalau ada rezeki, adalah.
BP: saya ikut saluran biasa, yang lurus.
BP: kalau ikut saluran bengkok, lainlah.
WL: yup..musti jujur...baru berkat..bengkok tak berkat
BP: betul.
WL: ok teruskan dengan kertas2 bersuara itu...saya tak mau menggangu...ingat transkip ini tidak masuk blog(saya tersengih..malangnya icon tersebut tidak dapat dipamerkan dalam entri ini)
WL: kalau blogkan bagus juga(icon - saya ketawa berguling-guling…tetapi tiada terpamer juga ikonnya)
BP: Ha ha ha!
BP: Sambil2 boleh la, tengok nombor banyak2 pun serabut juga kepala otak.
WL: ok sdr...saya pergi dulu...kecing saya nak makan...selamat serabutkan kepala dengan angka2 (kertas2 bersuara)
WL: kucing saya..salah ejaan plak
WL: salam
BP: salam. Tq

Nota kaki WL:
Petang tadi saya berchatting lagi. Mula –mula dengan Pay…lepas itu dengan orang yang transkripnya masuk dalam enrtri ini. Selepas itu Rozza pulak – terhenti seketika kerja saya hendak memblog entri ini….Dan saya sedang mencari “mangsa” seterusnya….mungkin Muha anak Pak Aziz. Atau mungkin Miss Sarah. Tapi saya telah berjanji ini kali kedua dan terakhir kalinya.

Ps: pix kereta ini telah saya cari/curi dari yahoo search engine siapa punya entah dan mudah-mudahan Pay akan menyukai warnanya. Seronoknya berekspressi dengan teknologi maklumat.

12.12.07

Sembang kosong bersama

Pay & my hubby
BUZZ!!!
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: askum kak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: watpe tuh?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: bz ke?
WL: salam..ngah update blog baru
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: oh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: kak..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: nk mintak pendapat neh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: saya nk spray keta
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tak tau nk wat kaler ape
WL: black aa..hitam itu menawan
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: putih tak cantik ke kak?
WL: putih memang cantik..suci bersih..kan lambang kesucian tp cepat cemar
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehehe..
WL: kereta tahun baru ee?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: lebeh kurang ar
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: skang tengah dok pk nk wat kaler ape neh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: saya nk buat biru..tapi cm tgk putih pun cantik
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: itam tuh da byk sangat org pakai plak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: kete besor neh kang nampak tua lak.
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: nk buat kaler yg nampak muda
WL: haa..kaler biru kak sokong
WL: merah garang sangat
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: kaler pink ook tak?hehehehe
WL: pink?ini kreta bukan pink panther lah
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: biru ada beberapa biru plak tuh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: biru gelap
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: adoi..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: mane satu la akak
WL: hijau-mesra alam..he..he..senang2 Pay beli semua kaler
WL: kalau kak pun tak tau nak pilih .semua cantik
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tuh ar
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: sume cm boleh je masuk
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ish..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tapi neh nk pakai lame neh
WL: kak pilih hitam,biru,putih..combinekan sekali kaler tu ahaks!!
WL: okeh..Biru ler
WL: err..yg sebelah tu sapa
WL: girlfren baru 2008 ke?
WL: putih cantik laaa
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ehe..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tak ar
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tu anak murid saya la kak..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: adoi..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: erm..
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: biru..ke putih neh kak?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: saya ada dua kaler je duk pk
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: biru atau putih
WL: putih...tapi kene rajin skit aaa
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: putih bonet itam atau putih sume?
WL: ko ni macam2..akak bukan pakar krete... tanya faiz ke..amy ke ok lah
WL: okeh putih sume
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: jap
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: kalo putih sume
WL: jap tanya abg
WL: abg kate all in white
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tak nampak cm limosin klia ke?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tuh ar die
WL: abg kata biru bonet hitam lawa gak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ye ke bang?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hmm..
WL: macam nak pilih bini plak eh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tuh ar tuh
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: dah seminggu dok pk neh
WL: dah tanya Faiz?
WL: Amy ke?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: derang tak online
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: camne le nk tanye
WL: tanya la orang yg minat krete
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: nk tanye camne
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: derang tak online
WL: tanya girlfren la sb nak bwa die
WL: Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: die tgh tgk wayang
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehe
WL: wayang?abih tu Pay tak g teman
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: die tgh mrajuk ape tah
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: maleh nk layan
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: baik layan duk umah
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: surf net
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tgk gamba
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: amik gamba
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: makan
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ehhee
WL: alaaa..ciannya die..cian juga kat adik akak neh
WL: kak pun dah lama x masuk flirck
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tgk ar kt flickr
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ada a few pics baru upload
WL: jap lagi nak tgk..kak pun nak upload gambo kuceng baru nih
WL: aahaa..dah buat keputusan..kaler apa?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: pink?
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hahaha
WL: tu kaler orang pompuan .x brutal lansung hu..hu..hu
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hehehe
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: baru ar kete gegadis
WL: http://waterlilysicksadcity.blogspot.com/
WL: link blog baru ada gombo Pay...entry mana ntah carilah
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: tgh membaca
WL: selamat mbaca. dpat keputusan krete nak boh kaler apa bgtau akak yer..bawa akak sekali..kita round KL
WL: okeh nak g makan ni...dah makan ke?abg kirim salam
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: blum
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: ok kak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: makan sekenyang kenyangnye
WL: Pay tu yg kena makan..kurus melidi jer
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: model kene la kurus kak
Hafizzhal Bukhary Borhan: hahahha
WL: yerler suka ati lah..janji tak sakit
WL: See ya. I gotta split.

Nota kaki WL :
Inilah perbualan saya dengan Pay di laman sembang YM. Teknologi maklumat menjadikan saya ramai teman maya...Pay salah seorang darinya..dari teman maya menjadi adik/sahabat saya dan suami. Terima kasih kepada insan yang membawa IT ke Malaysia. IT - jika buruk yang kita cari, maka buruklah yang ditemui.

ps: petang semalam saya chatting dengan orang yang suka BERCERITA tuuu.... :)

11.12.07

DECEMBER


Hari ini sudah December yang ke sebelas rupanya. Saya selalu lupa masa...dipendekkan cerita saya memang pelupa. Macam anak-anak istimewa yang saya juga. Tapi belum lagi sampai ke tahap nyanyuk(nau'zubillah). Apabila belajar sesuatu yang baru,maka saya terpaksa diajar berkali-kali. Saya paling lemah kalau diajar perkara-perkara yang berbentuk praktikal. Berteori memang kesukaan saya. Sewaktu zaman anak-anak, berkali-kali mak mengajar saya solat; saya lupa mana sunat dan yang mana rukun....hatta bacaan dalam solat memang betul(betul mengikut kemampuan saya yang ada speech disability.)

Hari ini sudah December yang ke sebelas ya? Kadang-kadang saya terkurang satu hari dan ada waktu terlebih sehari. Tidak berkerja buat saya jadi bosan. Lalu saya pun menulis yang bukan-bukan.

Hari ini sudah December yang ke sebelas bukan? Biasalah.....saya pun mula menyimpan azam yang kadang-kala tidak terjangkau dek akal dan kudrat. Azam saya tahun hadapan ialah :


  1. hendak belajar bahasa isyarat

  2. hendak belajar bahasa Jepun

  3. hendak score A untuk subjek semester Januari 2008

  4. atau hendak mengulang subjek semester ini yang dijangka "kantoi"

  5. bla....

  6. bla...bla

  7. bla..bla..bla...

  8. tujuh cukup ke?
  9. tidak cukup boleh tambah lagi.
  10. cukup lah........

Telling stories in silence

Photo of Koizumi san from Taihen webpage

Writing about my trip experiences to Osaka was amazing. Learnt something with wonderful lady Mrs. Manri Kim and Taihen Performance Troupe was complicated but interesting. Consisting of different language and culture, spending time with them has opened my eyes and heart to be stronger, the lessons I had to learn from them and self-acceptance. I shall write about one experience which stands out for me personally, hopefully to portray the essence of what this group has done for me.

Mrs. Kim taught me don't be afraid to admit when I know I am wrong. It is not a sign of weakness, but shows character and responsibility. Others will respect me for that. Always do the right things, even when everyone does as they please with no consideration for the feelings of others. Never compromise my values and beliefs, even if it means risking ridicule and rejection. That‘s what I learned when I was told the brief history of Taihen Performance Troupe during lecturer on Sept 8, 2007. After the corruption the “Maha Laba” village in late 1960’s – there were started another activist of Cerebral Palsy group called “Blue Grass” (weed). They expanded gradually – which they created ideas of independent living. I be acquainted with the “Blue Grass Policies” and according to Kawakita san I was very lucky because Mrs. Kim hardly ever talk about that.
They created their own ideas with limitation view and they faced many problems by that viewed. According to Mrs. Kim, they denied everything formed by non disabled, but they didn’t create anything by their own. Cerebral Palsy people couldn’t recognize themselves and they still need non disabled help. It was very hard for them to move –contradiction is not the logic way .At 1983, Ms Kim found that disabled body can create a piece of art and exposed it on stage.
It was genuine art from physically disabled. And I learned something. Taihen started with “zero”. Moneyless, no experiences, korukos and so forth, but they have the genuine & great art. Like my situation right now. Not easy to learn everything instantly – everything must come from our own experiences.

Firstly, I need to change my perception how I viewed my own body. Change the ideas and view and how I view the others body. I think these circumstances are hard to change – but I have to change for my future. Try to start with something genuine and truly, not just surface. The hardest part is when I try to use non disabled assistant by their own will and to be true to myself. Live my own life and don't allow others to decide what is best for me. If I do, I will be unhappy because I am untrue to myself. Refuse to run away from the things that scare me. Confront these situations and overcome my fears so that I may grow as a person. Don't compare myself to others. I am unique special being and therefore I should express my individuality. “Ki and Katsugen” practice for example, something strange for me. I am very bored because it didn’t work sometimes but my curiosity about the practice keep me to try hardest and every trials keep me strong, Sorrow and troubles keeps me human. Failure keeps me humble, Success keeps me glowing, but only God keeps I go.

Both rehearsal and performance for every time was totally different on 25-26 Sept at Ogimachi Park. According to Inoe Tomoko, they must improve their performance for each show. I still remembered, one day when I showed Mrs. Kim photo of Koizomi Yuske; she told me that he (Koizomi san) is very talented actor on stage.
Now I saw by myself how talented he is. Koizomi san has big responsibilities when he performed on stage. He needs to guide the bedridden performer like Kimura-san. Because he and Fukomuri san not severely disabled, they must adjust their movement and made it clear. They mustn’t to interrupt the performers like Kimura-san or Ms. Kim It was very challenge and at the same time they needed to express themselves. Koizumi san is amputee & Fukomuri san is Cerebral Palsy. Innoe san and Kitakaddo san also Cerebral Palsy. But they not severely like Ms. Kim & Kimura-san.

From the second full dress rehearsal I knew what Ms Kim means – that the disabled performer don’t need to repeat the same movement, but they need to express the same feeling/expression on stage. For example in scene 2( The Legend of Maha Laba Village),cultivating scene; I saw she did the different movement on Sept 26 full dress rehearsal in the same scene but that movement still express the same meaning of the story/performance. There is beauty to be found in a body which has experienced cerebral palsy, moving across the ground. It is an honor as well to be allowed to watch their struggle as they perform movements we take for granted. The mere act of rolling over becomes artistic because they know more about art than I do. They perform from the heart with love. With lack background in performing art, I am an extremely serious person. They taught me that the foundation of art lies in expressing your love through a medium. The ability to do so sincerely is what ultimately affects your audience. My lesson with them ended in Oct 8 2007, but I knew that those experiences are merely the tip of the iceberg. I also had interviewed by Minoh Post for their weekly magazine. Minoh Post arranged interpreters during my lecturer and workshop activities. With a month more to go, I know there are more realizations to come and many more lessons to learn. These are all things to be thankful for. On the holiday, I still had time to visit Kyoto, Kimura san hometown. I also visited Hemeiji Castle, Osaka Castle and Kitakaddo san brought me to Kobe where it easy to find “halal” meat and food there. She also took me to try “shushi” but unfortunately it not my taste. All of them are very kind and they tried their best to make me feel comfortable. I also noticed it was great experience when how Mrs. Kim and Taihen performed theatre in the park. On the previous holiday, Innoe san brought me to the cinema and we saw a film. It was about Kazao Uno biography – the great man who dances with his soul. How impressive it was.

I resided at Kawakita san apartment. I really appreciated what Ms Kim and Taihen members did there. They all disabled and they co-operated with non disabled. Together, they created excellent relationship and they understood each others. What can I saying; Osaka City is friendly disabled city. Here I learned something about self independent living especially for severely disabled. Taihen or "Art of body expression" is not only about performing art. It had self independent concept for severely disabled. May be if I have time, I would like to write something about Kimura san. He is one of Taihen performer and he is severely disabled. I am very proud of him. Can you believe - he is a great performer on stage. Not only on stage - also has he had a great life. He only can speak just two words "yes and no" but he live alone with his assistant without family help. He live in Kyoto and when they have rehearsal, he come to the rehearsal centre by train with his personal assistant

I was taught as professional performers we need to aware about two matters; the time management and responsibilities to the audiences. They come to our show and they paid to see the great art/performance from us. It was very interesting trip for me and from my point of view; wonderful lady Mrs. Kim built again the “Maha Laba Village” by her own way. My trip to Osaka was very meaningful because that maybe the first and last I traveled outside Malaysia. I was alone, penniless and it was during fasting month. Yes of course – if I just hear, I will forget and if I see, I will remember. If I do, I will know it and when I discovered the experiences maybe I can use it.

10.12.07

Siapa cantik/who beautiful???

Ballet Dancer
Mrs.Kim
"Medical model "akan berkata kami (orang seperti saya,Mrs. Kim dan lain-lain) tidak patut berada di pentas. Jika anda melihat dari perspektif "sosial model" orang seperti kami juga boleh ke pentas......Kecantikan itu bersifat subjektif.....

RIGHT VS CHARITY - part 2

Bolehkah manusia dibahagi-bahagikan kepada normal dan abnormal? Saya masih gagal mencari jawapan kepada persoalan tersebut. Setiap manusia adalah unik....tiada yang "cacat" sebenarnya.Anda akan menjadi masalah sekiranya masyarakat menganggap anda adalah masalah.("You are the problem" - Disibilty Study berdasarkan Medical Model ). Sepuluh tahun lalu saya pernah memohon satu jawatan. Ada dua pegawai menemuduga saya. Pegawai A ingin ambil saya berkerja - katanya "biar kita cuba dulu". Malangnya pegawai B kata - "Saya akan mendatangkan masalah". Setelah bersok-sek/discuss akhirnya mereka menolak permohonan saya. Mereka yang bermasalah atau saya? Sepuluh tahun lalu,saya percaya saya adalah "masalah".
Kini saya tahu - saya bukan masalah. People like them are the problem. And I am going to change them......Don't ask disabled to be able body people. Don't ask person speech disability to speak properly. You need to listen carefully. Please don't ask wheelchair user to walk,but you need prepare them accesiblity.

RIGHT VS CHARITY

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Preamble
Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world,

Whereas disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind, and the advent of a world in which human beings shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want has been proclaimed as the highest aspiration of the common people,

Whereas it is essential, if man is not to be compelled to have recourse, as a last resort, to rebellion against tyranny and oppression, that human rights should be protected by the rule of law,

Whereas it is essential to promote the development of friendly relations between nations,

Whereas the peoples of the United Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of men and women and have determined to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom,

Whereas Member States have pledged themselves to achieve, in cooperation with the United Nations, the promotion of universal respect for and observance of human rights and fundamental freedoms,

Whereas a common understanding of these rights and freedoms is of the greatest importance for the full realization of this pledge,

Now, therefore,

The General Assembly,

Proclaims this Universal Declaration of Human Rights as a common standard of achievement for all peoples and all nations, to the end that every individual and every organ of society, keeping this Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by teaching and education to promote respect for these rights and freedoms and by progressive measures, national and international, to secure their universal and effective recognition and observance, both among the peoples of Member States themselves and among the peoples of territories under their jurisdiction.

Article 1
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status.

Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

Article 3
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 4
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Article 5
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Article 6
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Article 7
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 8
Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

Article 9
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

Article 11
Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defense.
No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed.

Article 12
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Article 13
Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each State.
Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.

Article 14
Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.
This right may not be invoked in the case of prosecutions genuinely arising from non-political crimes or from acts contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 15
Everyone has the right to a nationality.
No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his nationality nor denied the right to change his nationality.

Article 16
Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Article 17
Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

Article 18
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.


Article 20
Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association.
No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

Article 21

Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives.
Everyone has the right to equal access to public service in his country.
The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.

Article 22
Everyone, as a member of society, has the right to social security and is entitled to realization, through national effort and international co-operation and in accordance with the organization and resources of each State, of the economic, social and cultural rights indispensable for his dignity and the free development of his personality.

Article 23
Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favorable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.
Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work.

Everyone who works has the right to just and favorable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection.
Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.

Article 24
Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.

Article 25
Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

Article 26
Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.
Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.


Article 27
Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.
Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.

Article 28
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

Article 29
Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible.
In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society.
These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.


Article 30
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.

Sources: UNHCR

Notes : Disabled want our right,not charity

6.12.07

LORNA SWEETIE SENT THIS TO ME

Isk..isk..siannya tikus ni...
Very poor rat....
Even when you are having a really bad day, someone will still try to screw you!!!!

p/s: Lorna macam tau-tau saja...saya dalam dilema